the fortune cookie fortune I got today, and several more in the same vein that I think would be especially funny

  1. All men should try to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why.
  2. Look behind you.
  3. They are on to you.
  4. Watch out for men in dark sunglasses.
  5. Avoid Main Street at 3:15 PM tomorrow.
  6. DO NOT drink the coffee.
  7. You will soon receive a nondescript package.  Listen for ticking before you open it.
  8. It might be a good idea to hire a bodyguard for the next few weeks.
  9. Nothing ever seems suspicious right before an assassination.
  10. Even in today’s world, it is still possible to disappear without a trace.
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